I had a conversation with a friend not too long ago, and she was going through some “stuff.” And being conscious of her inner process, and always working on herself emotionally and spiritually, she was trying to stay positive. Yet, in the course of our conversation, what I kept hearing was a part of her that was getting pushed down and flat out ignored. She was refusing to acknowledge and let her victim voice be heard.
Now, none of us wants to be running around acting or feeling like a victim. But our inner “victims” have gotten a pretty bad rap lately. We’re told to be positive and look to a higher vibration – sometimes even skipping over what we are really feeling – and do our best to feel something “better” if we can.
I see this over and over in my energy healing practice, this bypassing of the victim (or other unpleasant states). And what I always say is, “Lean into it.”
Usually when I give people permission to feel that part, and maybe have a good cry, it surprises them. The response is often an aversion to what is seen as a “lower” energy. People will say, “But I thought I was supposed to keep a positive energy,” or, “I’m trying to create a higher vibration and not go ‘there’.”
Now I’m not saying we want to give our power to our inner victims, or set up house in victim-ville. But to not let that part of us have a little release now and then creates a pretty big energetic build up. And whether you want to “go there” or not…it is there. So you might as well work with it.
So here’s why I say it’s OK to give your inner victim a voice. In fact it’s essential.
- Bypassing those “lower” energies creates energetic blocks that you’re going to have to deal with sooner or later. So lean into that energy and allow it to have its say.Sit down and ground your energy and then actively work with it. Go find that feeling in your body or energy field and then spend some time with it. Bring a level of awareness to it as you allow it to express itself and release. This is a personal process, similar to a controlled burn! But by allowing it to unwind and release, you can learn more about what you are responding to and can then empower yourself to make some changes.
- To not pay attention to your victim creates an environment where that energy takes root in your unconscious. That energy – and all the force behind it – takes the wheel and all the positive thinking is over-ridden as this powerful unconscious energy speaks to the Universe on your behalf.The Law of Attraction can be confusing, and I often see people get really turned around in this. We have to work where we are; there’s no skipping over the vibration of the thoughts we are really having. But having them doesn’t mean we are stuck with them. And if you can hold a level of conscious awareness as you experience something (let that inner observer be a witness) the simple act of acknowledging that you see it can begin the process of letting it release.
- Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. In other words, mixed in with our victim cries for help or even “poor me’s” is some really useful information about what you may not want in your life. It’s showing you where your Soul is asking you to empower yourself. And it is showing you what you may be resisting…all good stuff for the energy worker in you!As you sit with your inner victim, meet him or her as a Wise Being. You know you have that voice within you as well. (And if you can’t conjure that Wise Being voice up, imagine what your Guides would do!) This process is like creating a 3-way conversation: you are there as witness, a part of you is in pain and sharing your victim voice, and another part of you holds the wisdom. Bring all that to the table, and then see what your victim voice needs and what your wisdom may have to say about it. And as the observer, really listen. Then take action on the things that can improve the situation.
Sometimes our inner victims actually have a point. Sometimes there is an injustice that we want to correct, but we haven’t been able to identify or hold enough energy to take a different path in our lives. Now might just be the time.
The only time our inner victims really get the best of us is when we are too afraid to shine the light on them and support them beyond their creation.
Stacy Vajta is a master energy healer, helping Indigos and other energy-aware folks work with their energy and transform their lives. She's on a mission to help those who feel stuck get to the energetic root of the matter and expand! Visit her Expanded Pathways website.