We all face change day in and day out. Sometimes the change is small and we glide right on through it, and other times…well not so much! But even when change is good and we are seemingly on board, resistance can rear its ugly little head; and then we are often in for a bumpy ride.

Working with people, like I do, who are focused on change, I see resistance pop up in many forms. Sometimes it can be plain as day and other times it is so well disguised that it can trick you into believing its really got your back.  Sometimes it can be evident in what people say, and other times it is held in the body’s energy—as if a wall has been put up that nobody will ever cross.

But what is this thing we call resistance?

I think of resistance as an internal emotional and energetic process, which acts as a holding pattern. Its roots however, are from patterns and processes we learned which initially served us. Our unconscious mind is great at creating those patterns as a way to “survive” our experiences, and then equally great at holding onto them for dear life when it’s time to change. It can feel overwhelming at times. Our emotional resistance can hold us back if we don’t learn to recognize it and work with it successfully.

How do we do that?  Here are the tips I share with my clients for working with, and moving through, resistance.

1. Resistance has many faces. Here’s a short list of what it can look like: procrastination, judgment, inability to focus, focusing on the wrong things, tightness or restriction in the body, and/or other physical manifestation. As I said, this is just a short list. We’re actually pretty creative Beings in our ability to express resistance!
2. If we are really paying attention, we can feel when we are resisting something. Often we have our tell-tale signs of our own forms of resistance. If we pay attention, we can learn our own unique ways we express our resistance to our change. It’s not unusual that we go back to a familiar pattern of resistance when we meet new challenges in our lives.
3. Give yourself time to be in your resistance. This may seem counter-intuitive to many, but acknowledging where we are can set us free. What you are really giving yourself permission to do is to feel your resistance to moving forward….not the symptom or expression of it. When you notice the behavior or resistant thoughts, its time to allow yourself to sit in the knowingness that you are resisting.
4. Name what you are feeling. This is a key step, for if we can’t identify what is happening within, it’s really hard to work with it. The more detailed you can be, the better. For instance, instead of saying you are feeling “fear”…you may dig deeper and say you are feeling, “childlike and afraid that if you voiced your opinion you’d be invalidated…” Whatever you sense from this inner resistance as you sit with it, give yourself as much insight and detail about it as you can. Once you can hold this insight, you can begin to work with it.
5. Use the tools you have to move yourself out of the resistance. For me, I use energetic tools and visualization, and this is what I teach. Working with visualization, you can get a clear understanding of the resistance, as well as the energy of it. From there, you can learn to shift that resistant energy when you feel it—creating a new pattern for yourself. There are different ways to use visualization and, of course, many other tools that can be used. I’m a big fan of visualization because I see my clients using simple techniques and making connections to the meaning of the energy alongside the memories or belief systems that are holding them back. If you want to explore visualization as a tool, please visit my website. There are several visualizations/meditations which you can download.
6. Take action. The way to work through resistance is to get out there and do your best to move forward. Only then will you be able to see where you are still getting stuck, and where you have more work to do.

Sometimes our resistance can be helpful. In those times when we make decisions that take us off our path, our resistance to them can be a red flag to get us back in line with our deeper sense of direction. What’s he trick to knowing the difference? This energy or feeling dissipates when you get back on the right track. Usually in these situations, once you get moving in the right direction you feel free and your actions flow more easily.

When we are truly in resistance to the change we want to make, we move into a state of being where we are less open because we are blocking our own way. If you are going nowhere, chances are your resistance has the best of you!

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Stacy Vajta, M.A., cmt has been working with clients for over 19 years, and has a private practice in Oakland, CA where she supports people through transition and change; and to maintain a healthy balance amongst the physical, emotional and the energetic throughout life’s constant change and growth. Her sessions are often described as unique and comprehensive, as she directs her healing attention to the physical, mental and spiritual.  Please visit her website at www.expandedpathways.com.

Tags: coaching, consciousness, energy healing, guided visualization, meditation, resistance

This entry was posted on Monday, June 8th, 2009 at 5:28 pm and is filed under Expanding the Spirit. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.